im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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