drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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