I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
