your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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