dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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