is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize