i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
