and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize