i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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