Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
