if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize