You work out of a Hotel?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
