what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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