i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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