There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
