white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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