i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize