if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
