do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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