dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
