Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
