I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize