Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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