Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
