i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
