Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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