the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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