I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
either way he was missing a nipple.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
