Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
