I want to have your abortion
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
