can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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