her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
