living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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