I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
