Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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