At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
