Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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