Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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