pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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