chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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