Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
