I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
