Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
