if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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