Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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