actually, I'm a sock model
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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