Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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