so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
