I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
