Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
