I love black thongs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
