It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
