Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm passing your future prison.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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