I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
