you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
