Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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