3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
