i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
