i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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