**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize