Ambien. No doubt about it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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