My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Princesses don't give blow jobs
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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