I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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