CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize