He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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