so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
