Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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