doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
