Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
