Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
