So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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