I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
