Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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