He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
