I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize