you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize