the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
